Monday 18 June 2007

haiku - flowers

overcast sky -
dandelions flower
yellow in the grass.

on petals of red roses –
a rainbow.

grassy undergrowth
full of tiny flowers –
field guide bent open.

embroidered flowers
on my t-shirt –
wasp hovers.

Flowers for One Deep Breath


Brian said...

All very nice. I especially loved the last one.

longspider said...

I love the contrast of the grey, overcast sky and the bright highlighs of yellow flowers below. The last one made me chuckle :)

Rax said...

lovely visions blooming in color, standing out from trails of grey.

Mandy said...

I like the last one very much but the other three fall flat for me.
Aren't dandelions always yellow?
petals of red roses sounds a bit convoluted and the third seems a bit tortuous but the succinctness and understatement of the fourth makes up for the other three.

Crafty Green Poet said...

Mandy - so sorry the first three disappoint. Glad the last one made up for it.

Hanulf - yes it was the contrast I was going for in the first one. Glad the last one made you smile.

Rax, brian - thanks.

unedited-life said...

Something about that second one... it took me to another place of a tranquil moment. I love the imagery you describe, raindrops the vison of a rainbow on the red petals. Gawwd, I just luv that one!

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed each one! So obvious that you are a true lover of nature.

Regina said...

I am partial to the third one- I can just see you there... these were all lovely!

Roswila said...

Love that last one! LOL!

spacedlaw said...

Like second and last best.

Heartful said...

Such spot on snapshots of summer outdoors! Wonderful.

jem said...

The last one's special - makes you see things from another creatures eyes!

Crafty Green Poet said...

unedited life - wow you really liked that one! Thanks!

Sandy - yes I love nature!

Regina - yes that third one comes straight from experience!

Roswila, Jem - thanks, I think that one's my favourite!

heartful blogger - thanks, these snapshots will have to do instead of any real summer!

spacedlaw - thanks!

reprehriestless warillever said...

I like "flower yellow" as a verb phrase. And the double color contrast makes this poem work -- the bright colors coming through on an overcast day,as well as the assumed yellow on green.

And the fourth is just silly fun. I like it.

Crafty Green Poet said...

r.w - glad you like the double colour. Yes the last one is silly fun - as long as the wasp hovers and doesn't sting!

Plain Foolish said...

I especially like the first one: it makes me think of early spring back home.

Marcia (MeeAugraphie) said...

I loved the accurate contrast in the dandelion one and was there wearing your shirt in the last one. I don't like them hovering around me.

Clockworkchris said...

I love these. Sorry I'm so slow this week. Been busy. I love all of these. I love "wasp hovers", "overcast sky", but my favorites are the 2nd and 3rd. I like the descriptions, esp the 3rd. Great job!

Patois42 said...

I'm with Regina in being partial to the third. I can see you -- not that I've ever seen you. Perhaps, then, that I can see me there?

Rae Trigg said...

I especially like the third and fourth haiku - they evoked such clear pictures.

Mimey said...

a rainbow in a raindrop on a petal

that's my definition of poetry actually

Clare said...

I'm a little late in getting to these, but it was worth the wait. I love these. Each one is a little jewel: of yellow, of rainbows, of a field guide bent open, of a wasp hovering near embroidered flowers on your t-shirt. I got such a vivid picture in my mind and spirit with these. Really lovely.