city centre neon signs
vie to make us buy
more stuff. Our eyes
hurt as we stare
at clouds that glare
dull orange. Metal
tangs our mouths
awake as the alarm
clock blares. Somewhere
else a spider spins
silk across branches
of a hawthorn bush,
a web that glows
in soft dawnlight.
This week's Poetry Thursday prompt was to use their new random prompt generator. This poem uses two words from the generator - silk and neon. I wrote another poem using the same two words, you can find it on my Alter Ego blog here.
27 comments:
Awesome poem, with a great ring of truth....it’s so easy to be seduced by those darn neon lights! Good job!
Thanks for visiting my blog!
Peace Giggles
So nice to visit someone from the U.K.!
light pollution is just as bad as any other.
thank you for this wonderful poem.
"Somewhere
else a spider spins
silk across branches
of a hawthorn bush,
a web that glows
in soft dawnlight"
This is wonderfully musical.
Awake at 4 a.m. I came here to read poetry and even at that ungodly hour, was delighted with the juxtaposition of ideas in this.
I must agree with Rob. He used the word musical which is what I wanted to say. This poem just flowed and I was able to read it very quickly but still catch it. (I still read it many times :) The opening hit me because I love to buy things, although I don't need a neon sign, just a website.
I like the contrast you've given with the spider. :)
Rose
xo
I like both poems - they are very different. It's amazing what can be done with the random prompt generator!
delightful! I loved the juxtaposition of the frenzy of modern life and the measured pace of nature.
The section about the spider was really well done. Every word contributes to the image. Thanks for sharing this. I will be returning to that spider-place mentally when life gets hectic!
The aural qualities are so good here, with all those "--are" rhymes scattered about. And yes, the contrasting imagery works so well in this tight lyric.
Really nice contrast between the neon and the lights in the web.-- between the artificial and the natural, as it were....
beautifully flows.
"a spider spins
silk across branches
of a hawthorn bush"
Beautiful lines..
"Musical" is exactly right! Neon and silk--what great words to juxtapose.
As usual, a good read. I enjoyed the transition from the harsh (lights) to the gentle (web weaving).
Yes, the contrast was so lovely and true... our busyness and the spider's patience as they wevae their web...
I love the rhymes and visuals -- and also, I can taste it as the metal tangs! This poem is beautiful and feels so present and alive!
:)
The title too...oh yes, the title!
Love,
D.
I liked both poems. I like the contrast between nature and the city in the first one, the image of the dancer with the glow sticks in the second one. Neat to see two different approaches to the same words.
Wonderful contrast and creativity in using those words.
While I like the spider lines, I also like the lines "Metal/tangs our mouths/awake as the alarm/clock blares." What a great surprising image!
Along with all else mentioned I also like the line breaks. There are several in there that make ya think.
I like the message in this. I can really relate right now to that longing for nature and simpler things.
Another fantastic poem! And an ingenious use of your randomiser words.
You rose to the challenge well here. (I don't like neon lights.)
Cool idea for poetry.
I've been traveling and away from blogging. I particularly enjoyed the last line, beginning with "Somewhere/ else a spider spins/ silk across branches."
Nice!
Very visual poem, even though its short it hits a point swiftly. I will have to keep checking back to read more of your work. And once again thanks for dropping by my spot.
Crafty, I very much like the violent glow of the artificial neon contrasted with the soft glow of the spider's web, and the quiet busy-ness of the spider's work contrasted with the busy feeling of the city centre. Brava!
you all suck
Post a Comment