Wednesday, 30 May 2007

haiku

one mallard chick
swimming without its parents -
rain dappled river.

11 comments:

Colorful Prose said...

How melancholy...But beautiful.

Clockworkchris said...

I love this and I will keep up my argument with you for life about the haiku form, but how about we call it a truce and say that for you your way is right, and for me mine is right. You are a brillaint writer.

Crafty Green Poet said...

Chris - we're not arguing as far as I'm aware! However even the Japanese masters didn't necessarily stick to 5-7-5 syllables, and in fact one line haiku were more common back then. English syllables are so different from Japanese syllables, longer fora start that although it is useful to stick to 7-5-7 for the discipline, it is more useful to say no more than 5-7-5 syllables in practice! There's also so much more to haiku than how many syllables there are.

Crafty Green Poet said...

Colourful prose - thanks!

Rax said...

beautifully rendered vision- filling up the reader's eyes with drops from the splash of the rain on rivers.

Pearl said...

wow, that has a lot of intrigue and plot for being so small. What happened to the parents of the bobbing fluff?

AscenderRisesAbove said...

awww poor thing; as a mom whose chicks are leaving the nest - it sure does resonate!

pepektheassassin said...

Sad. Reminds me of seeing several baby ducks trying to cross 7th East.

Remiman said...

Juliet,
How brave an undaunted they seem!
truly in command of their world.
rel

Crafty Green Poet said...

I like how everyone is seeing different things in this, just as we couldn't decide whether it was a lost chick or one taking a brave and confident step towards independence! So thanks rax, ascender, remiman, pepek, pearl.

And Chris, thanks for your compliment on my writing. I should have said that earlier, but got sidetracked!

Jessica said...

beautiful yet ambiguous image --I feel that this is pretty bittersweet, but I can also see the bravery in it.