Thursday, 19 June 2008

Reuse, Recycle and Revise

My latest prompt is now up at Read Write Poem - you can read it here. The basic idea is to take one of your poems and revise it, either to polish it or to totally rewrite it.

I like to revise my work, I like to feel that I end up with the best possible poem. However once a poem has been published, I feel that is it, and I rarely rework a poem that has already been published. With blogging prompts, such as those on Read Write Poem, we only have one week to put together a poem in response to the prompt, so effectively anything I post for these prompts is by definition, a first draft. However because it appears on my blog, I feel it is published, so I rarely rework any poem that has appeared here or on Over Forty Shades.

However, in the interests of responding to my own prompt, I reworked a recent haiku, taking on board the comment made by Bill of Haiku USA:

curtains
sway in the breeze -
birdsong.

You can read the original haiku here.

6 comments:

Scot said...

hmm..I like them both. The first because I identified with blackbirds. The second may be a better haiku--toss up? :)

apprentice said...

I like them both too, it seems a shame too lose the blackbird reference as their song is so specific and sweet.

I'm with you on revision. I think I'm getting better at leaving something alone though, sometimes I go overboard on the polishing and everything slips off!

I fin doing a hardcopy or cut and pasting to another medium, like my blog makes things scream out that weren't apparent in the original.

Susan Richardson said...

I really admire you for being able to let a poem go once it's been published. Even after I see mine in print I have the urge to revise and want to keep picking away at it. I feel like I've been working on some poems for ten or more years!

polona said...

that's a beautiful haiku... liked the first version, too, as it's more specific.

Nicole Nicholson said...

I truthfully like both versions, but I like the new version slightly better. It seems more self-contained and encapsulated.

-Nicole

Jennifer said...

I know specificity trumps generality (never say bird when you can say blackbird) but somehow I prefer the revision. Perhaps because I read it first?