Monday, 12 May 2008

haiku - mother

watched by their mother -
six ducklings leap one by one
into the river


there's another mother bird in this poem.

Over on Over Forty Shades, you can read a poem I wrote about a mother and daughter here and on Cynthia's blog, Epiphany: Amour Habito Intus Vos you can read a poem I wrote about my grandmother here.

Mothers for Read Write Poem

21 comments:

haiku-shelf said...

ducklings/children...

one by one they go (into the river/to their life far away from home)

best wishes,
Angelika

Scot said...

nice

gingatao said...

plop plop plop, water is an excellent thing to have in haiku, and so ducklings plopping into ponds may be an image of far grander scale, even cosmological, the truth in a haiku has to huge, they are focusing device for mental energy, three concentric circles looking thru into the infinite, this is a cool one, i wont say a word about syllable counting, if you want to, fair enough,

Crafty Green Poet said...

Angelika - yes I was thinking of the ducking/children comparison

Scot - thanks

gingatao - we could discuss for years the significance of any aspect of any haiku, that's what i love about them. Syllable counting? Ah you've found one of my rare 5-7-5 haiku! I don't make a point of that, as I think you will have noticed

gingatao said...

I have noticed, which is why I felt safe to comment, some people take their haiku very seriously, which would be unbuddha-like, you know what would be good, if you could get six commenters, i am sure you will, and they will be like plopp plopp plopping into the pond of your haiku, that will be nice,

Crafty Green Poet said...

gingatao - I take haiku seriously enough to know that syllable counting isn't the most important thing, there's nothing worse (in terms of haiku) than 5-7-5 with no sense of the spirit of haiku, I loke your point about six comments...

gautami tripathy said...

Mothers all over the universe are the same, be they human or birds.

totomai said...

a separation of sort? the children will leave their parents in due time...

reginaclarejane said...

I loved this, haiku being one of my favorite forms...
and thank you for the other links as well...

...deb said...

I would be a duckling here. (Ah, but I'm nine.)

I can see them and I smile.

Janice Thomson said...

What is unsaid but ever so subtly hinted at is so wonderful in this one. Very delightful Juliet.

anthonynorth said...

That marvellous mothering thing. Where would we be without it?

TOCCO said...

As a mother, I feel the emotions, as we watch our children go off into the world....

mariacristina said...

Mothers of all species tend to have that watchful eye. I love the image and the connection to us as human mothers.

polona said...

the chances we have to take... it is nice if some can be done in a controlled environment :)
well done

Noah the Great said...

:D

This poem brings a little happiness to my depression.

Selma said...

I have actually seen this happen. It is an unforgettable sight.

polkadotwitch said...

i read a little danger into this. in the second line, i didn't know where they were leaping! ah, in the river! that makes sense. a good mother leading them to water. but i like the way the syllables work and the line breaks create suspense.

this is my patch said...

Your poem conjures up a lovely picture. x

rbarenblat said...

I like the haiku very much. It has an appropriate kind of wistfulness.

one more believer said...

in the simpliest of task motherhood abounds...