sunlit garden pond
full of fish and newborn frogs:
heron flies above
full of fish and newborn frogs:
heron flies above
party on the lawn:
the sweet scent of roses
fills the humid air
bright coloured leaves fall
on flower bed and lawns:
bonfire smoke rises
stark black branches
against a snow filled sky:
one crow on the lawn
22 comments:
you're right; formally they are probably some of the best of yours. Very Japanese, very visual, and very formal, although I've got more used to your "freer" poems. I think my favourite out of this selection is probably the winter one.
Please pardon the phrase but these are indeed "well crafted." They paint such gentle lovely images. My favorite line is "party on the lawn."
very lovely images, love the 4 seasons captured. great job!
I like how you used the four seasons as subjects. Well done!
ah, these are truly poetic. i appreciate the adherence to haiku style here, you've created beautiful word images.
I admire the idea (why didn't I think of that??) first of all.
I like the mirroring of heron/crow, air/smoke too. And how the images are painted in colour and scent. Vivid.
Excellent job! And it is a terrific idea, all four seasons...
Love the heron... waiting for those frogs to grow a little.
Great haiku! I just love how you've taken us through season by season--wonderful idea (wish I'd had it).
These are truly lovely - the epitome of haiku. I especially liked winter with it's "stark black branches." Well done!
My favourite is the last one-
*one crow on the lawn* -
fills me with a still beauty.
Yes, they are very good, and so descriptive! I would like to be there!
Oh, very well done! You've captured the essence of each season splendidly.
not one but four, we have th pleasure of reading.
my favourite is the last one..winter.
i like the contrast you've used and the line'one crown on the lawn'.
great words
You really did an excellent job of capturing images of the seasons using haiku.
Absolutely brilliant you have captured the seasons beautifully.
These are very good. my favorite is the first, really great stuff.
HI everyone
Thanks so much for your comments!
You do here the thing that I most struggle with in haiku and that is to write a lovely piece (in this case four of them) that isn't dependant on "I" or "me". That's staying true to the form.
Others have said it, but I'll also say that the winter piece strikes me most. Something about it is so...true. You're a good writer.
Fabulous work. Each of these is visual, evocative, a world complete and inviting yet mysterious and unknowable, too. I love them.
Jennifer
I like the crow one best.
Beautiful imagery :)
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