Monday, 2 July 2007

haiku - shadow and light

clouds across the sun -
shade and light patchwork
the fields

******************************


evening sun -
shadow trees across
the lawn



Shadow and Light for
One Deep Breath

19 comments:

polona said...

well done!

George said...

I especially like the first one.

Brian said...

patchwork... very nice! this is the second poem today that has made me rethink light by some genius use of a verb

Clare said...

Really pretty! They both create really nice visuals with patchwork and tree's shadows.
:)

Crafty Green Poet said...

Polona - thanks!

George - yes the first one is my favourite too!

Brian - genius? wow, thanks!

Clare - glad you like the visual images!

Sandy said...

Two perfect descriptions of moving light!

Regina Clare Jane said...

The first one reminds me of an Amish quilting pattern! The second one is just deliciously simple...

Quietpaths said...

The patchwork image really works well! Lovely, both.

Plain Foolish said...

I like both. The first reminds me of hearing what my great grandmother had to say after going up in an airplane, "Why, the land just looks like a big ol' quilt!" And she stopped being afraid of it after that.

The second, though, speaks to me of the quiet moments as dusk comes on. Beautiful.

Roswila said...

That second one is lovely. And so evocative....

strauss said...

Enjoy the idea of a patchwork of clouds.

jem said...

My response to these was 'yes' - I could understand them, and picture them, and relate to them. Top stuff!

the heartful blogger said...

beautifully reflective and still

Rae Trigg said...

Lovely images. I especially like the image of a patchwork of light and shade.

LuluBunny said...

BEAUTIFUL :)

Marcia (MeeAugraphie) said...

I really like the image of patchwork, but I am so partial to evening sun shadows across the land and with all the trees and the hill to the West of us, be get awesome light play and your haiku brings the visual

Patois said...

I love "patchwork." As Brian said, yes, it's genius. Wonderful imagery in my head. Thanks.

tumblewords said...

Love the way you used patchwork!

the heartful blogger said...

Hello Juliet, thanks so much for your comments on my blog about criticism. I have spoken to Susan about it and I'm most definitely NOT put off!! If anything, it's only reaffirmed all my original intentions for writing haiku and taking part. Thanks also for the note about Japanese-English syllables re the 5-7-5 form, makes me feel freer!

Regards
T x