clouds across the sun -
shade and light patchwork
the fields
******************************
evening sun -
shadow trees across
the lawn
Shadow and Light for One Deep Breath
shade and light patchwork
the fields
******************************
evening sun -
shadow trees across
the lawn
Shadow and Light for One Deep Breath
19 comments:
well done!
I especially like the first one.
patchwork... very nice! this is the second poem today that has made me rethink light by some genius use of a verb
Really pretty! They both create really nice visuals with patchwork and tree's shadows.
:)
Polona - thanks!
George - yes the first one is my favourite too!
Brian - genius? wow, thanks!
Clare - glad you like the visual images!
Two perfect descriptions of moving light!
The first one reminds me of an Amish quilting pattern! The second one is just deliciously simple...
The patchwork image really works well! Lovely, both.
I like both. The first reminds me of hearing what my great grandmother had to say after going up in an airplane, "Why, the land just looks like a big ol' quilt!" And she stopped being afraid of it after that.
The second, though, speaks to me of the quiet moments as dusk comes on. Beautiful.
That second one is lovely. And so evocative....
Enjoy the idea of a patchwork of clouds.
My response to these was 'yes' - I could understand them, and picture them, and relate to them. Top stuff!
beautifully reflective and still
Lovely images. I especially like the image of a patchwork of light and shade.
BEAUTIFUL :)
I really like the image of patchwork, but I am so partial to evening sun shadows across the land and with all the trees and the hill to the West of us, be get awesome light play and your haiku brings the visual
I love "patchwork." As Brian said, yes, it's genius. Wonderful imagery in my head. Thanks.
Love the way you used patchwork!
Hello Juliet, thanks so much for your comments on my blog about criticism. I have spoken to Susan about it and I'm most definitely NOT put off!! If anything, it's only reaffirmed all my original intentions for writing haiku and taking part. Thanks also for the note about Japanese-English syllables re the 5-7-5 form, makes me feel freer!
Regards
T x
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