Monday, 9 July 2007

haiku - birds

swallows dip
over the swollen river –
summer rain.

***********************************
metallic blue
flash of a kingfisher –
peat brown river.



birds for One Deep Breath

21 comments:

Clare said...

Beautiful!! The "s" sounds are very pleasing in the first one, and I love the image of the swallows dipping. And the colors in the second one are lovely -- plus the flash of the kingfisher is a really nice sense of quick movement.
:)

Sandy said...

I can see both of these images so clearly! Beautiful!

spacedlaw said...

I love the kingfisher, it's such a treasure for the eyes.
I love the sounds of the swallow one.

Crafty Green Poet said...

Thanks Clare - the only sighting we ever get of a kingfisher is a quick flash!

Sandy - thanks

spacedlaw - treasure for the eyes - totally!

AnnieElf said...

There is a reason I like the combinatin of blue and brown and you have illustrated it here. Beautiful.

Brian said...

The contrast of the blue and peat really gets me. Thanks Crafty.

Plain Foolish said...

The second is my favorite - I can just see it in your words. Thank you.

Rae Trigg said...

Lovely contrast of colors in the second haiku. I really like that image.

Roswila said...

Really like the first. I can just almost see them flying back up at the last second ... :-)

polona said...

these are both excellent - such movement!

Quietpaths said...

Perfect little portraits. The second one is so visual!

tumblewords said...

Sounds and colors - nice combination - enjoyable read!

the heartful blogger said...

I love the immediacy and vividness of these, and the colours!!

Thanks for the tip about the hawkmoth, I will definitely investigate.

Beaman said...

I like them both. Well written. :)

jem said...

These have a very good tone, the words connect well with each other, making it very pleasurablt to read. I like that in writing. The colour contrast in the last one is very strong.

get zapped said...

Lots of movement in nature. Nice!

hanulf said...

Love them both... I like the sound of the words "swallows" and "swollen" in the first and the colors in the second. Nice contrasts too.

Becca said...

These paint beautiful word pictures - I loved them :)

astairesteps said...

These remind me of one of my favorite haiku poems:

Nightswimming

Alone but nervous,
Fingers fumble the buttons.
Freedom leaves her nude.

Writer on Board said...

Nice. Haiku is the hardest. And you post so many intersting and beautiful things. McDonalds using chip fuel. Who knew it was possible? I know now. Because of you. Thank you. You're crafty. You're just my type.

Patois said...

Both are very nice. I enjoy the "sw" for the swallows and swollen. I can see those swallows in flight. And I'm with others re: the combination of the blue and brown in the second.