Tuesday, 27 March 2007

One line haiku

earth shadow reddens the moon
******************************
buds start to unfurl first love
*******************************
velvet catkins burst yellow pollen
*******************************
heavy days I cannot see the hills
*******************************
a possible butterfly too early in the year
******************************
one line haiku for One Deep Breath

28 comments:

Brian said...

Beautiful lines, I like how they are work together to create a scene.

Liza Lee Miller said...

Really nice. This challenge was tough (for me) but you did a spectacular job. Really love the moon and pollen ones!

Star said...

You're early in your posting as usual. This week will be a challenge in economy for me, as I often struggle with the 3-line haiku. You've given us a mark to shoot for!

bgfay said...

First, I'm happy that I'm not the only one who wanted to write several of these. And I had to look up catkin, so I now have a new word in my mind. Thanks.

I'm drawn to "heavy days I cannot see the hills" I find myself in that especially since the day here in Central New York is very heavy, wet, and grey. I wonder how acceptable it is to use punctuation in these. I used a good share in mine and I read your line this way: "heavy days, I cannot see the hills." The stop is brief but it builds the connection for me. And the line is really very good.

Mary said...

I like the one about the pollen. That's how I felt all weekend, like it was in my blood too. I wonder if there's a special name for one line poems.

polona said...

wow! you did a great job on these!

Jone said...

I am drawn to the first two. This was difficult for me. Lovely lones.

AscenderRisesAbove said...

wonderful thoughtful colorful haiku; you do magic with them

BlueJude said...

ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!

Regina Clare Jane said...

The buds unfurling and the catkins bursting... oh, just so wonderful...
Lovely, all of them...

Crafty Green Poet said...

Thanks for all your comments.
Brian I'm glad you think they work as a scene,

Liza lee I also found this tough but once i got going i couldn't stop!

bgfay - I'm not sure about punctuation either, I just left it out!

Rose Dewy Knickers said...

I like the second one. First love... *sigh*

Rose

xo

Left-handed Trees... said...

Hard pressed to pick a favorite, as they all worked together for me to create a very evocative, rich picture. Nicely done!
--D.--

getzapped said...

So simple and yet the provide wonderful walk with imagery and feeling. They all spoke to me, but the heavy days and hills stirred me deeply. Nice work!

Marcia said...

I know I am going to be writing more of these, they are so thought provoking to both read and write. I especially liked your heavy days.

Gerald England said...

five beauties Juliet

Remiman said...

Juliet,
Way to roll!
"heavy days..." I had one today, I like them for a contrast to the bright sunny days.
I think this one line haiku is both easier and harder at the same time.
rel

Sandy said...

I had a hard time with this prompt-yours are wonderful. I love them all, but the 4th and 5th are my favorites.

Roswila said...

Thse are delightful. I particularly like the second and the fourth.

Ron said...

Each line seems to integrate with the rest creating a nice flow.

megan said...

heavy days I cannot see the hills...you captured two levels (or more?) of meaning so concisely...really enjoyed reading this one!

jem said...

Very natural, not at all forced. I love the 'heavy days' one and am obsessively thinking about 'a possible butterfly'. Really nice.

Tammy said...

These are just wonderful!

Becca said...

Ah yes, I am so familiar with "heavy days I cannot see the hills." That resonates with me on many levels...

These are all lovely, and flow together as well as standing alone.
Beautifully done, as usual :)

liquidquick said...

love the first one. brings to mind biblical end of days imagery.

michelle said...

I love them all, but the first and the last are particularly gorgeous.

pumpkin doodle said...

I just love the second one. First love is like a bloom, isn't it?

đpoetic1© said...

I loved the one with the hills... sort of describe my life as to where I am today.