Thursday, 8 March 2007

Cold Day in March

Bare black branches sway
against storm grey skies

a late snowflake falls

suddenly the red of a robin's
breast puffed with pride
as he sings his wistful
end of winter song.


More red poetry from me at Alter Ego here.

Red for Poetry Thursday

37 comments:

Brian said...

We had, several weeks ago, large flocks of robins passing through.

I like that you used wistful at the end.

DewyKnickers said...

Hi Crafty,

Black, grey, white and then a burst of spring red. Lovely

Rose

xo

Brian said...

Wanted to let you know, that if you put two links in your comment at PT, then it got caught in the SPAM catcher. They will approve later or you can leave one link at a time.

Crafty Green Poet said...

HI Brian
Thanks for your comments - your robins are different from ours! Thanks for the advice re Poetry Thursday comments, I hadn't realised that and in fact i have before now posted two links at the same time.... I'll know in future though!

Tia said...

I think your use of lines and spaces is very effective here for setting th e scene and the pace of events in such a way that the reader really feels the suddenness of the splash of colour that brings warmth into the bleak view.

gautami tripathy said...

I like the pattern of this, and love the ending!

Jane Poe (aka Deborah) said...

You've painted another lovely poem here! Cheers, JP

Sideon said...

I'm experiencing poetry envy.

You've inspired me to try shorter (though I doubt they'll get any sweeter) poems.

I like the colors, spacing, and the single snowflake. Well done.

strauss said...

Red is a lovely colour against the winter gloom, robins and red berries - always welcome. I hope the robin really was singing the last of winter.

Mike Mc said...

I like that it's an end of winter song, rather than first of spring, thus keeping the tone. Good job

poetmama said...

I love this tiny visual slice with so much symbolic impact. I also love the fact that the robin sings wistfully for winter rather than anticipating spring.

writerwoman said...

This poem makes me smile as I think of the world reawakening in Spring after the long cold winter.

Tammy said...

The red robin was a lovely contrast and sign of spring ;)

polona said...

what a lovely vivid poem!

Poet With a Day Job said...

I love this! I was waiting for the red - I wanted to be warm so badly (which only means to say you set up the coldness of the poem very well) and then, there he was, all proud! Nice work!

Emily said...

This was very beautiful. Your spare words really capture the landscape and the red really seems a splash of color. I especially liked, "he sings his/wistful end of winter song."

Pauline said...

Imagery in words - just what a poem should be.

Regina Clare Jane said...

I liked the last line as well... it is a perfect little poem!

pepektheassassin said...

So colorful! Like candy for the senses!

Remiman said...

Juliet,
I see we passed each other on the same road today. Probably a different robin I think. I like the way you notice robin suddenly, makes the contrast even more stark.
rel

Natalie said...

I love the contrast between colours. Very wistful.

Rethabile said...

Sound and vision. Nice.

January said...

Nice poem, and I like the late snowflake. Lovely images.

Catherine said...

This sets up a nice contrast - I had been thinking of large tracts of red with this week's theme, but that small splash of red is very effective.
We don't have robins in New Zealand :( - at least, we do, but they are not common, and they are not redbreasted.

paris parfait said...

I appreciate how the red of the robin's breast stands out in the landscape and in your lovely poem.

Dana said...

I love all the rhyme and near rhyme you've packed in here:

sway / grey / snowflake
skies / pride
wistful / winter

And the alliteration, too:

bare / black / branches
red / robin
suddenly / snowflake
puffed / pride

AscenderRisesAbove said...

in like a lion; out like a lamb... this sounds about right - thanks for the visual of spotting the first robin of the season

chiefbiscuit said...

Oh I just know just what that looks like - I remember from a working holiday in Britain thirty years ago - a long time ago, but that memory of the robin's red breast and snow, is a vivid one - thanks for a poem that brought it all back. Just beautiful.

twilightspider said...

That solitary line:

"a late snowflake falls"

That's so effective for me, and so perfectly isolated. I could see that perfect little flake against the grey sky. Love your use of color!

sarala said...

Nice poem. Catches the desire for spring so well. Good use of color too.
No robins spied here yet.

Jessica said...

this is beautiful -- very haiku-like. I love the contrasting colors.

CMC said...

Such few words, such vivid images

Robin said...

Lovely poem! Like the shift from the strom grey skies into the bright red of the robin, the welcome into the colors of Spring!

david santos said...

Hello!
this poem is veri good, thank you
have nice wkend

Mary said...

We just an extraordinarily nice (warmish) day here; it's strange to read about snow!

Lovely images. The lines move in that slow way a snowflake does. A very tight poem.

Ron said...

So many comments. What else can I say? Ditto to all. Well done.

Jone said...

This is so beautiful. The other day a thrush hopped around on our patio.