Rooted in earth, she danced
in time with the phases of the moon.
Now our bodies are alien,
rootless and blinded by neon
we can barely see the moon.
For another poem on this topic, please visit Vertigo on my Alter Ego blog.
The Body Knows for Poetry Thursday
42 comments:
This reminded me of something I read recently, but I can't think where...how our cycles synchronize with the moon if we sleep outdoors, I think it was.
Just going over to your other blog now
Juliet,
It has always fascinated me how in-tune with nature women are. In a gathering of women or only just two, even more so.
"Now our bodies are alien"
I like that line. It's the sort of thing that reminds me of how I eat even though I'm not hungry, that I drink even when I've had enough, and that I will sit on the couch changing channels when nothing is on and my body wants to move. It's as though I have allowed myself to be pulled from my own mind, my own body, and I live somewhere far away from both. "Now our bodies are alien." That's going to stick with me.
Catherine, yes that's what I was thinking of!
Remiman, but probably not as much as we used to be...
bgfay - exactly....
It's really good to read a poem where you've had the confidence to keep it really short. Because it's so effective like this, especially given the content. And how true the content rings, too.
Hi Crafty, beautiful poem that speaks volumes about out artificial world we live in.
I love the rooted vs. uprooted analogy. Interesting how the body can be both alien to the earth and alien to the self. So cool how the entire poem hangs on your use of the word "neon". Remove it and the whole poem falls apart. Very cool.
If only we were all more rooted by the earth's phases and cycles. I really enjoyed reading this.
I remember the last time I danced, but not when I saw the moon.
Nice.
I really like this...I think there's a lot of power in a short poem. I also really liked the line " now our bodies are alien"
This short verse says so much. The whole ness of the female in a nutshell.
gautami
In-between state of consciousness
I love the brevity of this poem--how it keeps it simple, but still so profound.
And I agree--I wish we were still more in tune with nature. I'd sleep under the moon more often, if my life would allow it.
This is very short but it says so much about how we have separated ourselves from the physical world.
Loren Eiseley wrote a poem describing himself as an adult looking through a kitchen window at himself as a child at a table, thinking how "alien" he was in this strange adult body. I often feel like this myself. Good poem!
I agree with Emily, a lot of power in this short poem. I like the way you asserted the point and leaves you to think about what has just been said.
Such a powerful poem, Juliet- it shows just how far we have lost our true selves to this world...
One of the reasons we try to visit our friend's country property whenever we can, so we can really see the stars, and the moon. I start to feel almost claustrophobic if I spend too long in the city, with its washed out sky (even though I live here; sigh.)
Great title, and great poem. I love the off-rhyme of neon and moon, especially because they play opposites in the poem. To the point, and perfectly done.
I do like the shortness of this, it works well here! Sometimes the alien body, sometimes the body knowing. Mary :-D
I really like this. It reminds us (or maybe just me) of a disconnection with our true self.
This poem positively sparkles - or should I say glows?
So true! I love living in the country and still dance with the moon ;) Wonderful!
very effective. love it
Very simply and beautifully describes how far we have come - how far we have gone. A powerful comment on urbanisation.
Short and sweet! Great poem! I wish we could all be like the first part of your poem again :o)
You always pack a wallop with just a few words!
"we can barely see the moon" I can relate...
Love the alien line as well... also your use of light, natural and artificial. Beautiful and strange.
Very nice. Really what the body doesn't know anymore.
This just speaks volumes!LOVED it.
So nice:)
I really enjoyed this poem. You used the phrase in a great way to make a work of art. I loved how you turned such a short poem into something powerful
Very nice short poem that speaks large about what we have done to our selves by isolating ourselves from the cycles in which we have evolved. Sometimes I think it is amazing that we aren't doing worse at adapting to our artificial world as we have.
I really like the way that--in such a short space--you manage to move in and out of the body. Of course, such a short poem invites even closer word-by-word inspection, and the comment by Dennis above about how the poem turns and depends on the word "neon" immediately made me think of what an easy anagrammatic leap that is to "none" which fits quite well too. Kamsin's comment that this poem is about "how we have separated ourselves from the physical world" [emphasis added] works very well if the line can also be read "blinded by none." Great compact poem.
Oh how true, how true. What a lovely, short poem. Alien bodies, rootless, blinded. Everything I've been feeling about mine lately. :)
Wham!
I'm still reeling, lady.
True. Concise. Lovely.
I wonder, how did you know this poem was finished after 5 lines? And it is, it is! I would have meandered on and on and here you've said it so well, so quickly.
I like the idea of this very much. It makes a powerful statement.
Yes, yes -- the moon and the woman's body, the knowing and not knowing of things deemed natural... I liked this very much. Thank you for sharing.
Rachel
readwritedream.blogspot.com
Thanks for all your comments!
Hi, Crafty Green: This is simply superb. I liked its lyrical flow with irony and regret.
May I also invite you to visit my blogs:'
http://rksingh.blogspot.com
http://profrksingh.blogspot.com
and comment on my poetry.
R K Singh
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