Wednesday, 24 September 2008

Autumn Red

the early turning leaves of maple and cherry

slanting light glances
on rosehips
and five shades of rowan berries

the last poppy splashed
against ochre grass

the minor key
of robin's autumn song

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Write on Wednesday asks us this week how detail oriented we are in our writing and what details matter to us. This blog is very much oriented to nature and the environment but even in my wider writing, the details of nature are what I notice most, also details like colour and sound. Autumn is a great time of year for me as a writer, because there are so many colours to notice.

I think though that its important not to over-describe, too many details can bog a piece down, there should be space for the reader to think about the piece and create their own mental picture.

16 comments:

Scot said...

wonderful images and the minor key of a robin is well penned

Becca said...

You have a gift for capturing just the right details to make you natural scene come to life.

These lines are perfect examples, for they brought a picture to my mind immediately.

"the minor key of robin's autumn song" is so poignant and perfect...I'll be listening for it all day now :)

Andi said...

Great use of color in so many shades. I see autumn there.

gautami tripathy said...

Your nature poetry is always filled with detailing. I love to read those.

Finer details

Bobbi said...

Nice autumn poem!

jem said...

Really good point about not overburdening with detail - one great one will stay with a reader far longer than many average ones.

This line is stunning - 'five shades of rowan berries' - it sounds like a title in itself!

Jeanie said...

Your poem is lovely, and you make a very good point about over-detail! Yet, I can "see" and "feel" those rose-hips.

stu said...

The part I've always had trouble with, and what you do so well here, is finding the details that capture the feel of a thing best.

holly said...

what a beautiful fall poem!

poetwithadayjob said...

So beautiful - minor key! You've inspired a blog entry from me!

Karen Harrington said...

Very nice poem and well made point about too many details bogging down a piece. Finding the right balance is key.

thanks for dropping by my blog, today too!

mrs. sarah ott said...

i like that you consider the readers space. that other poetry is also inspiration for my own words, thoughts, imaginations.

we dont have the colors or the rowan berries here and the birds and ducks are long gone for us but what of Autumn exists ;up here certainly doesn't lack in its spirit.
thank you for helping to consider what autumn means and what of it can be seen in the people around me too, not only the plants.

Janice Thomson said...

Beautiful to the senses Juliet.
Love that "the last poppy splashed
against ochre grass.."

kouji said...

lovely mental picture here. :)

anthonynorth said...

I totally agree with you about over-describing a scene. I tend to be very minimalist myself.

polona said...

wow, great images wonderfully composed.