Wednesday, 19 March 2008

Triptych

a fish flaps its fins in the midst
of the desert while the city
drowns under the rising sea

a crow sings a song on the edge
of the forest while houses
grow leaves and crumble to ashes

a dark shadow looms and hangs tall
in the sky; while a small
golden butterfly emerges from gloom.


Surrealism for Totally Optional Prompts

25 comments:

Rethabile said...

This sounds like what the world might be if we continue to mess up. Very nice.

Selma said...

I agree. Perhaps it's not that surreal at all. Lovely piece.

UL said...

as surreal as it seems, it is the truth isnt it?. Very nicely done.

Janice Thomson said...

Enjoyed the contrasting ideas and as already mentioned feel this carries a touch of realism too. Definitely makes one think. Good one Juliet.

crimsonflaw said...

The second stanza is breath taking. they say magic is based on potent contrast of images.

Billy said...

A wonderful study in contrast, apocalyptic in sentiment. Very well done.

noahthegreat said...

In the darkness we find the brightest light.

This is beautiful.

Rabbits' Guy said...

God bless the butterflies ....

(and bunnies)

Stan Ski said...

A post-apocalyptic vision? Or just pay-back?

Crafty Green Poet said...

rethabile, selma - thanks, that's what I intended.

ul - yes its the truth! thanks

crimsonflaw, janice, billy - thanks

noah - yes I did want there to be hope at the end too...

rabbits guy - and the bunnies, yes!

stan - good question...

Dick said...

I don't see surrealism here. This poem reads like an effective piece of verse polemic and well worth winging off to one of the environmental activist magazines.

SweetTalkingGuy said...

I like the golden butterfly image - a sort of ressurection?

paisley said...

now all i need is the painting it is interpreting... and i am all set... you definitely captured the very core of surrealism with this....

Crafty Green Poet said...

thanks dick but its now published here so might not be accepted elsewhere... and surrealism is to an extent in the eye of the beholder, I wanted something that might appear surreal but isn't so you're right, its not

Paisley - the painting only exists in my mind...

sweet talking guy - yes a sort of ressurection at the end

gautami tripathy said...

Very strong images of destruction. I like it a lot!

polona said...

a disturbing vision of reality.
hope in the end? i wonder...
excellent

tumblewords said...

How wonderful that a golden butterfly emerges...certainly far more than we deserve! Great piece!

rebecca said...

i absolutely loved this poem, so very creative, so very fantasy-like, so very magical!

excellent...

Richard said...

Nice poem, Crafty. I"m not totally sure what makes surreal surreal, but you've written a very clear set of pictures.

Linda Jacobs said...

I really like this one because it's surreal but it also makes sense! And that ending...perfection!

Beloved Dreamer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Beloved Dreamer said...

As I was saying, this is very well done. Your images are very disturbing until the "golden butterfly. You have such a hopeful heart.

-bd

Yours truly Mason said...

great poem and such a great vision of disaster i can only hope this poem will only be sureall and not our future

flyingstars said...

this is a simply lovely poignant poem...so evocative...

I am a bit too busy with my work now, which will continue, so couldn't visit your blog for sometime...anyway, I will check your other posts later whenever I will get the break.

anthonynorth said...

Surreal can often be straight-forward - too straight-forward for us to understand, me thinks.