Tuesday 12 June 2007

haiku - moon

pale moon floats
in the daytime June sky –
swifts soar.

****************************

bright white moon hangs
in the blue velvet night –
bats fly from the eaves

Moonstruck for One Deep Breath - Happy First Birthday!

25 comments:

Brian said...

i really liked these. they reminded me of this poem by average poet as well...

http://averagepoet.blogspot.com/2007/05/glowing.html

L.L. Barkat said...

Most lovely... the moon that drifts through our days and our dreams.

Kevin said...

It's Tuesday in Scotland!

polona said...

nice contrast in both haiku.

pangolin said...

thanks for visiting me, i really like your blog & shall stop by again

Crafty Green Poet said...

Thanks Brian, I'll go and read the link.

l.l.barkat - thanks!

Kevin Doran - lol! It is now! Sometimes I juggle dates to avoid lots of posts on one day. Now I've been found out!

Polona - thanks!

Pangolin - thanks, hope to 'see' you again soon!

Anonymous said...

Hi Crafty,

I love seeing the moon in daylight. I've never lost my fascination with the view.

Hope you are well.

Crafty Green Poet said...

Thanks Brian - yes it always fascinates me too! I'm well thanks, hope you are too.

Anonymous said...

moon floats and moon hangs- so descriptive! Love these poems!

unedited-life said...

Hey just stopping by! Luv your vision of the MOON! Nice haiku!!!

spacedlaw said...

They are both lovely but I really love that second one.

Regina said...

Oh- "blue velvet night"... that is such an exquisite expression... and I can see those bats, too!

Unknown said...

Love them both but particularly the swifts and bats that fly through them. Fantastic!

Anonymous said...

I like how your haiku always have some moment of action placed neatly in with the still portrait. Very lovely.

Tammy Brierly said...

I love your moonstruck theme and I can picture that white moon hanging in the black velvet.

longspider said...

Beautiful imagery... I have never written haiku, but would like to try... any advice for a novice? :)

Anonymous said...

Love the summery imagery. This evokes memories growing up on the East coast.

longspider said...

OK... I tried a couple. How'd I do?! ;)

Anonymous said...

very nice contrast of pale vs bright. delightful haiku

Rax said...

love the contrast. Moon jumps out. love the transition to the bats and the swifts. beautiful

Anonymous said...

I especially like the second one, with the surprise at the end. This is one of the things that makes haiku so wonderful and so unique and is a mark of good writing.
Thanks

Heartful said...

These are beautiful, delicate yet strong. I'm a sucker for moon imagery. Decided to have a go at one deep breath myself, have been watching from the sidelines for a while now...

Patois42 said...

Such brilliant images appear to me of the day moon and the night moon. Beautiful haiku.

Roswila said...

Love that first one. I adore the moon, but particularly day moons. And my spirit soars with those birds. :-)

Marcia (MeeAugraphie) said...

I love the day moon poem, but I really found the contrast of the second one most appealing.