In One Deep Breath this week we are asked to get close, closer and still closer in the observations in our haiku. This weekend I was visiting my parents in Worsley, near Manchester. We had a walk by the red Bridgewater Canal. These are my three haiku, which really call out for photos too, but we had forgotten our camera and my parents don't have a digital!
the red canal
flows through the village -
four swans.
two young swans
with plumage speckled grey -
historic bridge.
water droplets
sparkle on the swans' backs -
rainbows.
20 comments:
Lovely imagery painted with your words - I can see those swans!
I can see them too! Great writing. That last one is my favorite.
The last is my favorite too. This sounds a very tranquil and lovely place to relax with one's thoughts.
Very nice - I can picture them from your words without the photos
the red canal
flows through the village -
four swans.
Love the contrast of red and white in this one. And the sort of peaceful flow.
two young swans
with plumage speckled grey -
historic bridge.
The contrast here between young and old is really wonderful. I can almost write a story on it.
Good images, well done.
I love the images you painted in my mind. Sometimes the words are worth a thousand pictures. Much peace, JP
I like the build up of natural imagery, and then the unexplained bridge. Man made structures in contrast or even conflict with nature. In my mind, anyway.
Juliet,
Beautiful!
I crafted my own picture from your words. You've provided all the pieces of a scenic mosiac.
rel
Beautiful serene imagery. I especially like rainbow from "water droplets" on the swans backs.
Lovely :)
The words painted the photos, beautiful images of an autumn day.
I didn't need pictures to see these closer looks. Now that's talent!
Great imagery - especially all three together. Makes a nice package!
Excellent close, closer, closer still series here. That last one was just superb!
- Bice Sagan
As others have said, great imagery! I especially like the first one. Simple and serene.
lovely... peaceful. I like the water and color in your images.
All very nice haiku but I especially liked the first. Great job!
I was watching swans Monday afternoon - how beautifully you have painted them with your words.
Haiku was the first poetry I ever wrote, and where I discovered the magic of writing. I still love it and these are nice, with perfect images.
Tom
I like these.
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