Monday, 4 December 2006

Haiku - Close, Closer, Closer Still

In One Deep Breath this week we are asked to get close, closer and still closer in the observations in our haiku. This weekend I was visiting my parents in Worsley, near Manchester. We had a walk by the red Bridgewater Canal. These are my three haiku, which really call out for photos too, but we had forgotten our camera and my parents don't have a digital!


the red canal
flows through the village -
four swans.


two young swans
with plumage speckled grey -
historic bridge.


water droplets
sparkle on the swans' backs -
rainbows.

20 comments:

paris parfait said...

Lovely imagery painted with your words - I can see those swans!

Sandy said...

I can see them too! Great writing. That last one is my favorite.

Star said...

The last is my favorite too. This sounds a very tranquil and lovely place to relax with one's thoughts.

Catherine said...

Very nice - I can picture them from your words without the photos

Roswila said...

the red canal
flows through the village -
four swans.

Love the contrast of red and white in this one. And the sort of peaceful flow.

two young swans
with plumage speckled grey -
historic bridge.

The contrast here between young and old is really wonderful. I can almost write a story on it.

Mike Mc said...

Good images, well done.

Jane Poe (aka Deborah) said...

I love the images you painted in my mind. Sometimes the words are worth a thousand pictures. Much peace, JP

Jemima said...

I like the build up of natural imagery, and then the unexplained bridge. Man made structures in contrast or even conflict with nature. In my mind, anyway.

Remiman said...

Juliet,
Beautiful!
I crafted my own picture from your words. You've provided all the pieces of a scenic mosiac.
rel

Becca said...

Beautiful serene imagery. I especially like rainbow from "water droplets" on the swans backs.

Lovely :)

Jone said...

The words painted the photos, beautiful images of an autumn day.

Tammy said...

I didn't need pictures to see these closer looks. Now that's talent!

-llm. said...

Great imagery - especially all three together. Makes a nice package!

Anonymous said...

Excellent close, closer, closer still series here. That last one was just superb!

- Bice Sagan

getzapped said...

As others have said, great imagery! I especially like the first one. Simple and serene.

cloudscome said...

lovely... peaceful. I like the water and color in your images.

Neasa said...

All very nice haiku but I especially liked the first. Great job!

Endment said...

I was watching swans Monday afternoon - how beautifully you have painted them with your words.

Tom Atkins said...

Haiku was the first poetry I ever wrote, and where I discovered the magic of writing. I still love it and these are nice, with perfect images.

Tom

Mandy said...

I like these.