Monday, 10 July 2006

Haiku - Ritual

This week's haiku prompt on One Deep Breath is ritual or ceremony. We were asked to think about a ritual or ceremony from our own life, but what came to me first was this haiku below, which is based on a poem I posted earlier here:

Air burial
vultures take body, heart, soul,
Heavenwards


I have always been of the view that haiku in English do not need to strictly follow the 5-7-5 syllable rule, after all English is not a syllabic language in the same way that Japanese is. The point to me of a haiku is to capture a moment....

17 comments:

susanlavonne said...

this haiku literally gave me goosebumps...it's profoundly beautiful

paris parfait said...

This is a powerful haiku, if a little gruesome! I've always despised vultures, having witnessed so many of them feasting on roadkill in the US. I know they're necessary for ecological balance, etc. etc., but they freak me out - like dark invaders of death.

Sandy said...

so good, and so few words!

mikim said...

Extremely powerful! It took my breath away.

Becca said...

I admit to a little "frisson" when I read this. Very evocative haiku.

Jennifer said...

powerful image - wow

Catherine said...

Yes, that's powerful - I totally agree about not following the 5-7-5 "rule". Actually not even all haiku in Japanese follow that rule.

faustina said...

wonderful haiku. Sometimes, what needs to be said is better said with less, like this. beautiful.

Tammy said...

Powerful image. Well done!

AnnieElf said...

Felt a chill with this and had the sense of ascending.

kerrdelune said...

This is a beautiful description of Buddhist sky burial, and I like the part about vultures taking the heart and soul to heaven along with the earthly remains. Vultures take a bad rap as carrion eaters, but they are spectacular fliers, riding the thermals with unparalleled ease and power. Reading this, I found myself thinking of their grace in flight.

Crafty Green Poet said...

Thanks for all the comments, folks! I saw The Cave of the Yellow Dog last night and there are plenty of vultures in that and yes they are ugly on the ground (but their faces are like that for good reason - to stop their feathers getting matted with the blood and gore from the carrion!). But they are spectacular when they fly! I also love the idea of almost literally being taken to heaven when you die.

Marc said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Marc said...

I loved this eerie haiku.

Great blog :)

Marco

David E. Patton said...

I'm not one for haikus but I must say that I enjoyed this one.

Nia said...

I can't believe someone managed to make air burial stop seeming the most disgusting thing in the world. Wow.

Crafty Green Poet said...

Thanks for your comments, Marco, David and Nia!