Monday, 31 July 2006

Garden haiku

The prompt on One Deep Breath this week is to write haiku about the garden. I've written four - one for each season. I've been reading a lot about haiku recently and I think these are technically my best haiku yet.....


sunlit garden pond
full of fish and newborn frogs:
heron flies above

party on the lawn:
the sweet scent of roses
fills the humid air

bright coloured leaves fall
on flower bed and lawns:
bonfire smoke rises

stark black branches
against a snow filled sky:
one crow on the lawn

22 comments:

Nia said...

you're right; formally they are probably some of the best of yours. Very Japanese, very visual, and very formal, although I've got more used to your "freer" poems. I think my favourite out of this selection is probably the winter one.

susanlavonne said...

Please pardon the phrase but these are indeed "well crafted." They paint such gentle lovely images. My favorite line is "party on the lawn."

Jennifer said...

very lovely images, love the 4 seasons captured. great job!

paris parfait said...

I like how you used the four seasons as subjects. Well done!

ian russell said...

ah, these are truly poetic. i appreciate the adherence to haiku style here, you've created beautiful word images.

Jemima said...

I admire the idea (why didn't I think of that??) first of all.

I like the mirroring of heron/crow, air/smoke too. And how the images are painted in colour and scent. Vivid.

S.L. White said...

Excellent job! And it is a terrific idea, all four seasons...

Love the heron... waiting for those frogs to grow a little.

Star said...

Great haiku! I just love how you've taken us through season by season--wonderful idea (wish I'd had it).

Becca said...

These are truly lovely - the epitome of haiku. I especially liked winter with it's "stark black branches." Well done!

bb said...

My favourite is the last one-

*one crow on the lawn* -

fills me with a still beauty.

Sandy said...

Yes, they are very good, and so descriptive! I would like to be there!

mikim said...

Oh, very well done! You've captured the essence of each season splendidly.

Madeleine said...

not one but four, we have th pleasure of reading.
my favourite is the last one..winter.
i like the contrast you've used and the line'one crown on the lawn'.
great words

Tammy said...

You really did an excellent job of capturing images of the seasons using haiku.

BondBloke said...

Absolutely brilliant you have captured the seasons beautifully.

faustina said...

These are very good. my favorite is the first, really great stuff.

Crafty Green Poet said...

HI everyone
Thanks so much for your comments!

bgfay said...

You do here the thing that I most struggle with in haiku and that is to write a lovely piece (in this case four of them) that isn't dependant on "I" or "me". That's staying true to the form.

Others have said it, but I'll also say that the winter piece strikes me most. Something about it is so...true. You're a good writer.

jblack designs said...

Fabulous work. Each of these is visual, evocative, a world complete and inviting yet mysterious and unknowable, too. I love them.

Jennifer

Pearl said...

I like the crow one best.

Clare said...

Beautiful imagery :)

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