We are prisoners in our smart suburban houses,
our chic city apartments,
yet think we are free.
We ignore the cries of the lost and the poor,
the laments of the dying
wilderness.
We don’t listen to the gathering thunder,
the growling sounds
from underground.
We don’t see the towering walls
of debris and water
hanging over us.
We will awake too late
to begin scouring
paths of escape.
Thanks to Jemima for letting me use the line 'scouring paths of escape' from her excellent poem: Big Come Down.
Poetry Thursday
27 comments:
Scary poem Crafty. True, but very scary.
Rose
I agree with dewyknickers. Nice, Crafty.
A powerful poem that makes us see the obvious but yet not obvious in our lives...
Cheers!
I love the closing stanza - the way it's first line suns the whole of the poem. Finely crafted. Despite the sad point of the subject - I enjoyed this.
I always appreciate your POV, Juliet.
There is also a physical structure to the poem I like, how it trails from "big" to "small" lines, which, to me, are effectively coupled with your use of tense--present to future. It crafts your message so well.
Juliet,
Beginning, middle, and end. Telling the unpleasant truth to the blind. I like the way this sounds when I say it aloud.
rel
I borrowed your line for my poem. Thank you!
Very well done. I was going to say "lovely", but it is a little too dark to be "lovely". Perhaps "powerful" is a better word.
Spot on! We will indeed be too late to scour paths of escape. A very perceptive piece of writing...
Oh Crafty - love your poem: the execution AND the content, very much...I feel that feeling that our world is not quite right every day - it is a struggle to know and feel that, yet still live in a city! I am going to recommend you read The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan - it's helping me articulate these feelings more every day...Excellent poem....thank you!
Adoring this!
There is no such thing as society, except when there is. I am not my beautiful apartment...
A great reminder that perspective is reality! A real thinker, this one.
I totally agree with ......deb, the structure lends further power to your wonderful words. If only the message could be heeded...
I really agree with your perspective on this...really like your first two stanzas. I really enjoyed this
I'm afraid I know this kind of dread a little too well--it reminds me how poetry saves us because it exposes what we'd prefer to ignore.
I especially like the last stanza. Somehow it reminds me of TS Eliot.
"We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown."
Well done! I like writings like this because it is just so different from what I can do. And I'm with Deb, I appreciate your pov!
Wow. Powerful poem. I also borrowed your words for my poem, Call Me Destructive. Thanks.
Sorry, that link didn't work... Call Me Destructive. Thanks again.
The urgency of your words leaped from the page.
Right on. I love the structure; it echoes the message of the poem well, I think.
How we choose to ignore the obvious! Thanks for stopping by. I agree, the same lines take is in divergent direction.
I really like this. Simple, yet moving!!
Karen
I found your opening lines particularly captivating
HI there and thanks for all your comments.
Jemima - thanks for the line that inspired this!
Jen and R's Musings - delighted you chose my line to use in your poems, I enjoyed reading where you took it!
Poet with a Day Job - thanks for the book recommendation - I'll look that one out!
Sarala - my words remind you of T S Eliot - wow! Thanks!
A cautionary tale, and a great read. Nice poem.
I like the way you made a serious subject poetic. My favorite image was the section that spoke of growling sounds from the underground.
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