I enjoyed your talk at Sunny Room. What struck was the "even" in the haiku on the herring gulls which look noble. I wrote some poems on the herring gulls, of the kind we have here on the Adriatic and Mediterranean sea, (yellow legs instead of the rose legs of those in the north), they are strong, cruel and powerful birds. They are "noble" actually, messy, ravishing and impressive.
That's a good brief, informal introduction to the form, and AHA is a good next stop.
autumn light the nobility of a herring gull
Let readers see the light for them \selves. Both "golden" and "even" seem like evaluation, rather than the description which is the real haiku work. The reader will put the parts together and understand that it's the quality of the light that lends the herring gull that nobility. That's the reader's work.
Tommaso - I agree about herring gulls in their natural habitat, but in cities they are loud aggressive nuisances and it was a city gull I wrote about.... (not that that's obvious from the haiku)
The "nobility" is what your poem is about, the perception you ask the reader to share. Tommaso's response is in spirit close to mine. "golden" aggrandizes the light as, from one point of view (not Tommaso's apparently) "nobility" aggrandizes the gull. The two are fighting with each other. But, if I felt the light was your true subject, I'd be questioning "noble/nobility."
A delightful post at Sunny Room. Thanks for sharing about haiku and also for Sunny Room
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your talk at Sunny Room.
ReplyDeleteWhat struck was the "even" in the haiku on the herring gulls which look noble.
I wrote some poems on the herring gulls, of the kind we have here on the Adriatic and Mediterranean sea, (yellow legs instead of the rose legs of those in the north), they are strong, cruel and powerful birds. They are "noble" actually, messy, ravishing and impressive.
That's a good brief, informal introduction to the form, and AHA is a good next stop.
ReplyDeleteautumn light
the nobility
of a herring gull
Let readers see the light for them \selves. Both "golden" and "even" seem like evaluation, rather than the description which is the real haiku work. The reader will put the parts together and understand that it's the quality of the light that lends the herring gull that nobility. That's the reader's work.
by that token Bill, one probably shouldn't use the words noble or nobility either,....
ReplyDeleteTommaso - I agree about herring gulls in their natural habitat, but in cities they are loud aggressive nuisances and it was a city gull I wrote about.... (not that that's obvious from the haiku)
ReplyDeleteLoved having you in SunnyRoomStudio, Juliet! You are a gift to the planet. Keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteThe "nobility" is what your poem is about, the perception you ask the reader to share. Tommaso's response is in spirit close to mine. "golden" aggrandizes the light as, from one point of view (not Tommaso's apparently) "nobility" aggrandizes the gull. The two are fighting with each other. But, if I felt the light was your true subject, I'd be questioning "noble/nobility."
ReplyDelete