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Monday, 6 August 2007

haiku - evening

darkening sky -
invisible swifts
shriek.


Evening for One Deep Breath.

I've posted another evening haiku with a review on my Alter Ego blog.

16 comments:

  1. i can hear them and imagine the scene...

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  2. I really like image/sound created by hearing the swift's shriek without seeing it -- kind of mysterious.
    :)

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  3. Anonymous12:45 pm

    I love swifts and the chittering noises they make.

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  4. Love it. (Do I always say that?)

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  5. Thank you both for the haiku and for the link... wow.

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  6. I could hear the noise of those birds! Great haiku. :~)

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  7. You like swifts, don't you?! Bird sounds are amazing when you can't actually see them!

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  8. I like the peaceful image in your haiku of birds settling down for the evening and being heard if not seen.

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  9. Great image of the swift's hidden by nightfall. These few words paint a picture of nature, surely!

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  10. thanks for all your comments.

    Regina - yes I do like swifts, they're my favourite birds and at this time of year they're the birds I see most from our flat. And yes the birds I write most poetry about!

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  11. Oh my, so wonderful and brief. Good haiku!

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  12. Anonymous6:07 am

    I didn't realize that they made any noise. interesting.

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  13. Wow...this is so crystal clear...like a diamond of words!

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  14. Like polona, I can hear it. Ending on the verb "shriek" is the best possible choice, even though the haiku police will tell you haiku can't end with a verb.

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  15. Bill - sometimes the haiku rules are made to be broken!

    Megan, Roswila - thanks!

    Ascender - well I think your swifts are different from ours, ours certainly make noise, lots of it!

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  16. Thank you for the link to the audio, it added dimension to your haiku for me as I had never heard them.

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