Pink wisps of cloud pass overhead against the cold blue sky that stretches to the horizon where the sun struggles over the hills in a blaze of orange. Frost sparkles in pale sunlight on black branches that rise starkly from the trees that shelter the first snowdrops, their white heads bowed gently. A blackbird flies up from the path to land on a branch where it throws its head back and opens its orange beak. Blissful shivering melodies against the chill quiet of the day.
Prose poetry for Poetry Thursday
Morning Crafty. We watched a travel show last night about Edinburgh. I can see now about that with which you write. I hope someday to see in person the sun struggling over the hills.
ReplyDeleteThis is a lovely description.
ReplyDeleteI particularly like the final line, but I'm not thinking of birdsong.
ReplyDeleteGreat use of color in here, really brings the poem alive when the blackbird rises. Lovely!
ReplyDeleteYes, it is quite colorful! I love the look of frost sparkling on the black branches...
ReplyDeleteYup! That'll do just fine. :-)
ReplyDeleteDewy - I'm glad you caught a programme about Edinburgh, hope you enjoyed!
ReplyDeleteJemima - so what did you think about then?! Mind i could use that line as a beginning of a poem for my Alter Ego blog. Not about birdsong of course!
Jessica - only now you mention it do i relaise quite how much colour there is in that short piece!
Regina - i love frost sparkling too....
Catherine, Dennis, thanks!
What a perfect capture of a winter morning. This is almost a photograph in words. Perfect for this cold winter weather.
ReplyDeleteLovely, descriptive poem! In revision, you might try making the sentences a little shorter and less complex, because I feel like it's keeping the language a little cold and aloof. I think if you simplified the phrases, the poem might really "open up." Also, you might think about making the title carry a bit more weight by making it narrative. Something like "Winter, I Woke Before the Dawn and Watched Birds." Those kinds of titles are very James Wright, and a lot of contemporary poets have been influenced by him. Really enjoyed the poem!
ReplyDeleteJared
Jared, unfortunately I've never heard of James Wright.....
ReplyDeleteThe sentences here are long in an attempt to make them flow rather than being all chopped up in short staccato sentences.
I love the image of the tree sheltering the snowdrops :) Makes me think spring might just be around the corner.
ReplyDeleteNice imagery; really liked that last line.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds so beautiful! Great job!
ReplyDeleteI'm up too.
Ah! Stopping by woods on a snowy evening! At least, that's a poem your prose poem makes me think of. This is very well done!
ReplyDeleteThis is a lovely scene, the setting r something more to come. That's how it feels to me, as if something is on the verge of happening.
ReplyDelete"shivering melodies" -- this poem sparkles. Lovely.
ReplyDeleteThat last line says it all
ReplyDeleteFantastic job! The more I read these the more I get it ;) The end was pure delight :)
ReplyDeleteJuliet,
ReplyDeleteWell painted! Orange sun struggling. Shivering melodies!
Clear as a bell, and that's enough for me.
rel
"Frost sparkles in pale sunlight on black branches that rise starkly from the trees...I love this..what a morning it must have been.
ReplyDelete"Blissful shivering melodies" is a wonderful phrase. Just perfect.
ReplyDeleteI love it. The imagery makes me shiver with the cold and the beauty!
ReplyDeleteI could visualise the day unfolding before my eyes. Veey good description.
ReplyDeleteYou too can chk my post, Ambrosial.I would welcome critical comments for this prompt.
ahhhh...
ReplyDeleteit was the use of colors
that caught my attention in this one.
i really enjoyed this.
I love the quiet, almost holy feel to the poem, and yet there are the bursts of color and song--beautiful.
ReplyDeletei was completely transported to a lovely morning. beautiful.
ReplyDeleteImages there, sound present, the whole intact. Poetry.
ReplyDeleteGreat poem! I really love all the description. It reminds me of the weather we've been having lately :o) The last line is my favorite.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all your comments! Star - Spring is just round the corner!
ReplyDelete