Monday, 6 August 2007

haiku - evening

darkening sky -
invisible swifts
shriek.


Evening for One Deep Breath.

I've posted another evening haiku with a review on my Alter Ego blog.

16 comments:

polona said...

i can hear them and imagine the scene...

Clare said...

I really like image/sound created by hearing the swift's shriek without seeing it -- kind of mysterious.
:)

Brian said...

I love swifts and the chittering noises they make.

L.L. Barkat said...

Love it. (Do I always say that?)

Plain Foolish said...

Thank you both for the haiku and for the link... wow.

Fledgling Poet said...

I could hear the noise of those birds! Great haiku. :~)

Regina Clare Jane said...

You like swifts, don't you?! Bird sounds are amazing when you can't actually see them!

Rae Trigg said...

I like the peaceful image in your haiku of birds settling down for the evening and being heard if not seen.

tumblewords said...

Great image of the swift's hidden by nightfall. These few words paint a picture of nature, surely!

Crafty Green Poet said...

thanks for all your comments.

Regina - yes I do like swifts, they're my favourite birds and at this time of year they're the birds I see most from our flat. And yes the birds I write most poetry about!

Roswila said...

Oh my, so wonderful and brief. Good haiku!

AscenderRisesAbove said...

I didn't realize that they made any noise. interesting.

megan said...

Wow...this is so crystal clear...like a diamond of words!

Bill said...

Like polona, I can hear it. Ending on the verb "shriek" is the best possible choice, even though the haiku police will tell you haiku can't end with a verb.

Crafty Green Poet said...

Bill - sometimes the haiku rules are made to be broken!

Megan, Roswila - thanks!

Ascender - well I think your swifts are different from ours, ours certainly make noise, lots of it!

Marcia (MeeAugraphie) said...

Thank you for the link to the audio, it added dimension to your haiku for me as I had never heard them.