There is something very sensual about your choice of words in this poem. All the "L" sounds bring every line together wonderfully. And the image is lovely.
I love this poem, particularly the lines noah picks out. Just a suggestion - would explicitly mentioning on the swallows' longer perspective bring out the the mayflies' short lives even more?
wow, wonderful poem, the one to savour like a summer day... and the relativity of time is stunning, although the imago is only a very small part of a mayfly's life. but it is an essential one...
There is something very sensual about your choice of words in this poem. All the "L" sounds bring every line together wonderfully. And the image is lovely.
ReplyDelete"this languid day
ReplyDeleteis the full eternity
of their lives"
Amazing!
Expressive and thoughtful, a wonderful poem for bringing the mind's eye into focus.
ReplyDeleteI found that very calming. Lovely.
ReplyDeleteI love this poem, particularly the lines noah picks out. Just a suggestion - would explicitly mentioning on the swallows' longer perspective bring out the the mayflies' short lives even more?
ReplyDeleteI like the alliteration - it moves the poem forward but not hurriedly. your few words evoke a strong image
ReplyDeleteSuch a short poem--perfect for a mayfly--but with words to savor and linger over!
ReplyDeleteThis feels so summery. You caught the spirit of life in the heat perfectly.
ReplyDeletea birds eye view of momentary eternity...awesome
ReplyDeleteWhat beautiful reflections on the short life of the beautiful mayfly - I loved this Juliet.
ReplyDeleteGreat images here - I take it Mayflies don't live very long.
ReplyDeleteHas a nice dreamy feel. Enjoyable! :)
ReplyDeleteA beautiful poem. The last three lines open it up for contemplation of time.
ReplyDeletewow, wonderful poem, the one to savour like a summer day...
ReplyDeleteand the relativity of time is stunning, although the imago is only a very small part of a mayfly's life. but it is an essential one...
Beautifully worded. I liked reading it aloud.
ReplyDeletetears trickle slowly
You are so talented!
ReplyDeleteterrific title, I like that "mayfly time."
ReplyDeleteLovely. Thanks for dropping by at the Cafe. Nice to have found you here.
ReplyDeleteas contemplative as a cloud building in warm afternoon.
ReplyDeletevery summery! i like the illiteration and the movement of time--sun lives long, then birds, then the briefness of the mayfly...
ReplyDeleteputs things into perspective
Beautiful. I especially like how "Heat hazes the sky" prepares us for the change of focus to a day as an eternity for a mayfly.
ReplyDelete