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Monday, 9 July 2007

haiku - birds

swallows dip
over the swollen river –
summer rain.

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metallic blue
flash of a kingfisher –
peat brown river.



birds for One Deep Breath

21 comments:

  1. Beautiful!! The "s" sounds are very pleasing in the first one, and I love the image of the swallows dipping. And the colors in the second one are lovely -- plus the flash of the kingfisher is a really nice sense of quick movement.
    :)

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  2. Anonymous11:46 am

    I can see both of these images so clearly! Beautiful!

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  3. I love the kingfisher, it's such a treasure for the eyes.
    I love the sounds of the swallow one.

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  4. Thanks Clare - the only sighting we ever get of a kingfisher is a quick flash!

    Sandy - thanks

    spacedlaw - treasure for the eyes - totally!

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  5. There is a reason I like the combinatin of blue and brown and you have illustrated it here. Beautiful.

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  6. Anonymous3:32 pm

    The contrast of the blue and peat really gets me. Thanks Crafty.

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  7. The second is my favorite - I can just see it in your words. Thank you.

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  8. Lovely contrast of colors in the second haiku. I really like that image.

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  9. Really like the first. I can just almost see them flying back up at the last second ... :-)

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  10. these are both excellent - such movement!

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  11. Anonymous8:51 pm

    Perfect little portraits. The second one is so visual!

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  12. Sounds and colors - nice combination - enjoyable read!

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  13. I love the immediacy and vividness of these, and the colours!!

    Thanks for the tip about the hawkmoth, I will definitely investigate.

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  14. I like them both. Well written. :)

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  15. These have a very good tone, the words connect well with each other, making it very pleasurablt to read. I like that in writing. The colour contrast in the last one is very strong.

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  16. Lots of movement in nature. Nice!

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  17. Love them both... I like the sound of the words "swallows" and "swollen" in the first and the colors in the second. Nice contrasts too.

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  18. These paint beautiful word pictures - I loved them :)

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  19. These remind me of one of my favorite haiku poems:

    Nightswimming

    Alone but nervous,
    Fingers fumble the buttons.
    Freedom leaves her nude.

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  20. Nice. Haiku is the hardest. And you post so many intersting and beautiful things. McDonalds using chip fuel. Who knew it was possible? I know now. Because of you. Thank you. You're crafty. You're just my type.

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  21. Both are very nice. I enjoy the "sw" for the swallows and swollen. I can see those swallows in flight. And I'm with others re: the combination of the blue and brown in the second.

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