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Tuesday, 12 June 2007

haiku - moon

pale moon floats
in the daytime June sky –
swifts soar.

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bright white moon hangs
in the blue velvet night –
bats fly from the eaves

Moonstruck for One Deep Breath - Happy First Birthday!

25 comments:

  1. i really liked these. they reminded me of this poem by average poet as well...

    http://averagepoet.blogspot.com/2007/05/glowing.html

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  2. Most lovely... the moon that drifts through our days and our dreams.

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  3. It's Tuesday in Scotland!

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  4. nice contrast in both haiku.

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  5. thanks for visiting me, i really like your blog & shall stop by again

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  6. Thanks Brian, I'll go and read the link.

    l.l.barkat - thanks!

    Kevin Doran - lol! It is now! Sometimes I juggle dates to avoid lots of posts on one day. Now I've been found out!

    Polona - thanks!

    Pangolin - thanks, hope to 'see' you again soon!

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  7. Anonymous10:00 am

    Hi Crafty,

    I love seeing the moon in daylight. I've never lost my fascination with the view.

    Hope you are well.

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  8. Thanks Brian - yes it always fascinates me too! I'm well thanks, hope you are too.

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  9. Anonymous11:36 am

    moon floats and moon hangs- so descriptive! Love these poems!

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  10. Hey just stopping by! Luv your vision of the MOON! Nice haiku!!!

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  11. They are both lovely but I really love that second one.

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  12. Oh- "blue velvet night"... that is such an exquisite expression... and I can see those bats, too!

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  13. Love them both but particularly the swifts and bats that fly through them. Fantastic!

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  14. Anonymous3:18 pm

    I like how your haiku always have some moment of action placed neatly in with the still portrait. Very lovely.

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  15. I love your moonstruck theme and I can picture that white moon hanging in the black velvet.

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  16. Beautiful imagery... I have never written haiku, but would like to try... any advice for a novice? :)

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  17. Anonymous9:04 pm

    Love the summery imagery. This evokes memories growing up on the East coast.

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  18. OK... I tried a couple. How'd I do?! ;)

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  19. Anonymous3:14 am

    very nice contrast of pale vs bright. delightful haiku

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  20. love the contrast. Moon jumps out. love the transition to the bats and the swifts. beautiful

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  21. Anonymous5:56 pm

    I especially like the second one, with the surprise at the end. This is one of the things that makes haiku so wonderful and so unique and is a mark of good writing.
    Thanks

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  22. These are beautiful, delicate yet strong. I'm a sucker for moon imagery. Decided to have a go at one deep breath myself, have been watching from the sidelines for a while now...

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  23. Such brilliant images appear to me of the day moon and the night moon. Beautiful haiku.

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  24. Love that first one. I adore the moon, but particularly day moons. And my spirit soars with those birds. :-)

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  25. I love the day moon poem, but I really found the contrast of the second one most appealing.

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