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Monday, 18 June 2007

haiku - flowers

overcast sky -
dandelions flower
yellow in the grass.

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raindrops
on petals of red roses –
a rainbow.

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grassy undergrowth
full of tiny flowers –
field guide bent open.

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embroidered flowers
on my t-shirt –
wasp hovers.


Flowers for One Deep Breath

22 comments:

  1. All very nice. I especially loved the last one.

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  2. I love the contrast of the grey, overcast sky and the bright highlighs of yellow flowers below. The last one made me chuckle :)

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  3. lovely visions blooming in color, standing out from trails of grey.

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  4. I like the last one very much but the other three fall flat for me.
    Aren't dandelions always yellow?
    petals of red roses sounds a bit convoluted and the third seems a bit tortuous but the succinctness and understatement of the fourth makes up for the other three.

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  5. Mandy - so sorry the first three disappoint. Glad the last one made up for it.

    Hanulf - yes it was the contrast I was going for in the first one. Glad the last one made you smile.

    Rax, brian - thanks.

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  6. Something about that second one... it took me to another place of a tranquil moment. I love the imagery you describe, raindrops the vison of a rainbow on the red petals. Gawwd, I just luv that one!

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  7. Anonymous10:23 pm

    I enjoyed each one! So obvious that you are a true lover of nature.

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  8. I am partial to the third one- I can just see you there... these were all lovely!

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  9. Love that last one! LOL!

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  10. Like second and last best.

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  11. Such spot on snapshots of summer outdoors! Wonderful.

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  12. The last one's special - makes you see things from another creatures eyes!

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  13. unedited life - wow you really liked that one! Thanks!

    Sandy - yes I love nature!

    Regina - yes that third one comes straight from experience!

    Roswila, Jem - thanks, I think that one's my favourite!

    heartful blogger - thanks, these snapshots will have to do instead of any real summer!

    spacedlaw - thanks!

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  14. I like "flower yellow" as a verb phrase. And the double color contrast makes this poem work -- the bright colors coming through on an overcast day,as well as the assumed yellow on green.

    And the fourth is just silly fun. I like it.

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  15. r.w - glad you like the double colour. Yes the last one is silly fun - as long as the wasp hovers and doesn't sting!

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  16. I especially like the first one: it makes me think of early spring back home.

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  17. I loved the accurate contrast in the dandelion one and was there wearing your shirt in the last one. I don't like them hovering around me.

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  18. I love these. Sorry I'm so slow this week. Been busy. I love all of these. I love "wasp hovers", "overcast sky", but my favorites are the 2nd and 3rd. I like the descriptions, esp the 3rd. Great job!

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  19. I'm with Regina in being partial to the third. I can see you -- not that I've ever seen you. Perhaps, then, that I can see me there?

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  20. I especially like the third and fourth haiku - they evoked such clear pictures.

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  21. a rainbow in a raindrop on a petal

    that's my definition of poetry actually

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  22. I'm a little late in getting to these, but it was worth the wait. I love these. Each one is a little jewel: of yellow, of rainbows, of a field guide bent open, of a wasp hovering near embroidered flowers on your t-shirt. I got such a vivid picture in my mind and spirit with these. Really lovely.

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