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Wednesday, 30 May 2007

haiku

one mallard chick
swimming without its parents -
rain dappled river.

11 comments:

  1. How melancholy...But beautiful.

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  2. I love this and I will keep up my argument with you for life about the haiku form, but how about we call it a truce and say that for you your way is right, and for me mine is right. You are a brillaint writer.

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  3. Chris - we're not arguing as far as I'm aware! However even the Japanese masters didn't necessarily stick to 5-7-5 syllables, and in fact one line haiku were more common back then. English syllables are so different from Japanese syllables, longer fora start that although it is useful to stick to 7-5-7 for the discipline, it is more useful to say no more than 5-7-5 syllables in practice! There's also so much more to haiku than how many syllables there are.

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  4. Colourful prose - thanks!

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  5. beautifully rendered vision- filling up the reader's eyes with drops from the splash of the rain on rivers.

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  6. Anonymous10:57 pm

    wow, that has a lot of intrigue and plot for being so small. What happened to the parents of the bobbing fluff?

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  7. Anonymous4:39 pm

    awww poor thing; as a mom whose chicks are leaving the nest - it sure does resonate!

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  8. Sad. Reminds me of seeing several baby ducks trying to cross 7th East.

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  9. Juliet,
    How brave an undaunted they seem!
    truly in command of their world.
    rel

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  10. I like how everyone is seeing different things in this, just as we couldn't decide whether it was a lost chick or one taking a brave and confident step towards independence! So thanks rax, ascender, remiman, pepek, pearl.

    And Chris, thanks for your compliment on my writing. I should have said that earlier, but got sidetracked!

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  11. beautiful yet ambiguous image --I feel that this is pretty bittersweet, but I can also see the bravery in it.

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