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Monday, 4 December 2006

Haiku - Close, Closer, Closer Still

In One Deep Breath this week we are asked to get close, closer and still closer in the observations in our haiku. This weekend I was visiting my parents in Worsley, near Manchester. We had a walk by the red Bridgewater Canal. These are my three haiku, which really call out for photos too, but we had forgotten our camera and my parents don't have a digital!


the red canal
flows through the village -
four swans.


two young swans
with plumage speckled grey -
historic bridge.


water droplets
sparkle on the swans' backs -
rainbows.

20 comments:

  1. Lovely imagery painted with your words - I can see those swans!

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  2. Anonymous12:04 am

    I can see them too! Great writing. That last one is my favorite.

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  3. The last is my favorite too. This sounds a very tranquil and lovely place to relax with one's thoughts.

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  4. Very nice - I can picture them from your words without the photos

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  5. the red canal
    flows through the village -
    four swans.

    Love the contrast of red and white in this one. And the sort of peaceful flow.

    two young swans
    with plumage speckled grey -
    historic bridge.

    The contrast here between young and old is really wonderful. I can almost write a story on it.

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  6. Anonymous5:58 am

    Good images, well done.

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  7. I love the images you painted in my mind. Sometimes the words are worth a thousand pictures. Much peace, JP

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  8. I like the build up of natural imagery, and then the unexplained bridge. Man made structures in contrast or even conflict with nature. In my mind, anyway.

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  9. Juliet,
    Beautiful!
    I crafted my own picture from your words. You've provided all the pieces of a scenic mosiac.
    rel

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  10. Beautiful serene imagery. I especially like rainbow from "water droplets" on the swans backs.

    Lovely :)

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  11. The words painted the photos, beautiful images of an autumn day.

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  12. I didn't need pictures to see these closer looks. Now that's talent!

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  13. Great imagery - especially all three together. Makes a nice package!

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  14. Anonymous4:28 am

    Excellent close, closer, closer still series here. That last one was just superb!

    - Bice Sagan

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  15. As others have said, great imagery! I especially like the first one. Simple and serene.

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  16. lovely... peaceful. I like the water and color in your images.

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  17. Anonymous8:38 pm

    All very nice haiku but I especially liked the first. Great job!

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  18. I was watching swans Monday afternoon - how beautifully you have painted them with your words.

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  19. Haiku was the first poetry I ever wrote, and where I discovered the magic of writing. I still love it and these are nice, with perfect images.

    Tom

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